The Talk
by Queensbaby
Summary: 5 years later and Seto is still a very blunt speaker. This becomes a problem when raising bright children. What will happen when his curious, 3 year old daughter already asks about sex?SetoIshizu, MarikOC
1. Chapter 1

_**FYI- for those of you who haven't readLove Changes You, Jahi is Seto and Ishizu's oldest son. He is 5 years old at this time. Sagira is their younger daughter, who is 3. Seto and Ishizu are still newlyweds, having only been married for about a year. They live with Marik. Finally Marik and Bakura (Yami Bakura) have a close friendship that Seto has always found disturbing.**_

Chapter 1: Questions

"Oh! Yes! Yes! Yes!" A female's voice panted, echoing through the wall. The sound of a headboard thumping against it could be heard in the room, which shared that wall. "Aye, aye, aye…" the voice continued to cry.

Throughout the night, the sound of a male's voice moaning grew louder and louder, becoming harder to ignore. However, Jahi Kaiba tried his best to do just that. He sat on his little sister's bed, trying to coax her to sleep. He understood what his parents were doing in the other room, but 3-year-old Sagira did not.

"Jahi! We have to do something! Mama and Baba are getting eate'd by a monster!" The toddler continued to whine. Jahi felt sorry for her ignorance.

"No they're not Sagira. Mama and Baba are doing grown up things. Just go to sleep! Please! Jahi was tired and wished that his parents would be done soon.

Suddenly the moaning and crying grew louder and with more intensity. "OH… OH…. ISHIZU! Oh, OH…. FUCK…"

Sagira started to sob and wiggled desperately from her bed. When Jahi attempted to grab her, she pulled away in frenzy. "Stop! I have to save Mama and Baba from the Fuck monster!"

Jahi stopped dead in his tracks, looking as his sister ran towards his parent's room, with a stunned expression. He muffled an attempt to laugh at her choice of wording. He snorted a bit and tried to leave it at that. He didn't want his father to see him laughing when he came storming out of his room with a bed sheet wrapped about his lower half.

"Mama, Baba I…" Sagira charged into the room without warning and stopped immediately when she saw the sight. It took Seto and Ishizu a moment to register what had just happened. Sagira's mouth was agape and her eyes were wide in a mixture of shock and fear.

"SAGIRA!" Seto yelled at her. Ishizu was too embarrassed and surprised to say anything. Sagira's face immediately distorted and she wailed at him.

"STOP IT!" She screamed. Her voice pierced through all the walls of the mansion. Sagira ran over to the bed and started to hit him relentlessly with her tiny hands. "GET OFF MAMA! STOP IT! LEAVE 'ER ALONE! STOP! GET OFF! DON'T HURT MY MAMA!"

Seto hastily removed his hands from Ishizu's wrists and was trying to grab her hands. "SAGIRA STOP, NOW!" He yelled at her.

"NOOO! DON"T HURT 'ER!" She continued to scream. When Seto finally caught her hands, she wailed. Sagira pulled away with all her might and ran to her room in tears.

"Damn it!" Seto growled to himself, getting off of Ishizu and finding his pants.

"This isn't good." Ishizu mumbled to him, searching for a nightie to put on as well. "I think I should talk to her first." She sighed, pulling her nightie on.

"Whatever!" Seto mumbled as he zipped up the pants he had been wearing that day.

"You need a minute to cool down." She continued. Before heading out of the room, Ishizu gave Seto a small kiss. "Here's to parenthood."

"It sucks." Seto mumbled.

As they walked into Sagira's room they saw her clinging to Jahi for dear life. Poor, exhausted Jahi stroked her head with care, still looking half asleep and desperate. "Sorry Ba, sorry Ma." He said distantly. "I tried to stop her but she wouldn't listen. She thought you were being attacked by the 'Fuck Monster'." Jahi tried to hold in a grin.

"The what?" They asked in unison.

"She came up with it. Don't ask how."

"No!" Sagira whimpered into her brother's shoulder. "Baba is the Fuck Monster! Don't let him hurt me Jahi! Please." She cried piteously.

Ishizu walked over to the bed, leaving Seto to stand by the doorway. She gathered the girl into her arms and rocked her back and forth. "Shhh! Sagira, don't cry." She half whispered in a soothing tone.

Sagira wrapped her arms tightly around her mother, almost protectively. "I don't want the Fuck Monster to hurt you anymore, Mama!" She then directed her attention towards her father. "You can't hurt Mama anymore!" She gave him a cold glare.

Seto was taken aback. Sagira wasn't the type of girl that ever glared at him like that. Her eyes were such perfect duplicates of his own that she appeared to be doing his signature look. Her protective nature towards her family decreased any doubts in his mind that she was a full-bred Kaiba.

Ishizu carried Sagira back to her bed and sat her down on her lap. "You can go to sleep Jahi." She told her half awake son.

"Yeah, go on now. You have things to do in the morning." Seto added from the doorway.

"Okay. 'Night Ma, Ba." And with that, Jahi left the room to get some well-deserved rest.

By this time, Sagira had calmed down slightly, having her mother beside her. "Baba's a bad person. He hurt you really bad Mama?"

"Sagira, Baba wasn't doing anything bad…"

"Damn straight! I'd say I was 'hittin' that' nicely." He grumbled.

"See! He was hitting you!" She chirped becoming excitable. "You won't hurt Mama anymore!" She yelled at him but was silenced.

"Shush Sagira. People are trying to sleep. Like I said, Baba wasn't doing anything bad."

"Then, what were you doing that he would hit you?" She asked. Her natural curiosity caused her calm down dramatically.

"Well…" Ishizu struggled, trying to find a way to explain it to a 3 year old. She turned to Seto for help but received nothing. "We were… fooling around."

"That's a nice way to put it." Seto mocked. Sagira seemed unaffected by the remark and Ishizu tried again.

"We were doing something fun for parents to do. We were… fooling around. Like… like… you and uncle Marik do, or…

"That perverted dog your uncle drags in all the time and everything that moves"

"Bakura!" Sagira chimed, having almost completely forgotten about giving him the cold shoulder.

"Anyway, it's like that except it's different."

"Oh!" Sagira said, still looking very confused. "Then why was Baba yelling and why were you crying?"

"Uh… well you know when you're playing with Jahi and he tickles you too much and you laugh so much that you cry? It's like that."

"Oh, I get it." She said without much confidence on her face. "Sorry Baba."

"You're not very good at this." He half whispered to Ishizu. "Sagira come with me, we're going downstairs."

Sagira cautiously walked to the doorway and took his hand. Before leaving Seto turned back to Ishizu. "I guess it's my turn now. Don't worry I'll straighten her out."

"Just be careful what you say to her."

"Ishizu, I know what I'm doing. I talked to Jahi remember."

"Jahi knows way too much. A little while ago he asked if we were planning to have another baby or if we were just horny. Tell me why our 5-year-old son knows the word horny." Seto grinned. "Just be careful. Don't be so blunt!" But before she could get out another word, they were gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Answer

Seto and Sagira walked silently down the stairs and into the kitchen. Despite her apology earlier, Sagira still seemed wary of her father. He turned on the overhead light of the center island and lifted Sagira into her seat. A glance over at the stove's digital clock revealed the time to be near 2 o'clock in the morning.

"Now Sagira, is there anything you want to ask me?" He said, trying to sound as nice as he could. The last thing he needed was her screaming at him again.

Sagira looked around the kitchen doubtfully and shook her head.

"Are you sure about that?" Seto asked again.

"Ice cream?" She looked up at him hopefully. Seto sat there for a second, just looking skeptically at her. Finally he stood up and walked over to the freezer.

"What kind?" He asked, looking at the variety of ice cream they had stashed away. When Ishizu discovered ice cream she seemed unable to control herself and bought tons of it monthly.

"Chocolate!" She chimed. She seemed to be in a better mood knowing that she was getting a dessert. As Seto pulled out the chocolate ice cream she chimed again. "And mint?" Seto looked at her again, but pulled out the mint.

He dished up the two flavors of ice cream into Sagira's favorite bowl. It was a cup sized bowl with a Duel Monsters duel going on with matching spoon. It was meant for boys but the 'dueling protégée' in her just had to have it. Before putting the bowl down in front of her she asked for one more thing.

"Can I have sprinkles too?" She asked in a voice sweet enough to give him a cavity. Seto had been expecting this and quickly retrieved the rainbow sprinkles from the one of the cabinets. After thoroughly sheeting the ice cream into a rainbow colored mess, he put the sprinkles back and sat down next to her.

"Shukran Baba!"

"In English Sagira. You know better than to talk to me in that dead language your mother and Marik speak behind my back."

"But Shukran is Arabic."

"Like I care."

"Thank you Daddy!" She giggled.

"That's better. Now, is there anything you want to ask me about before?" He said, getting down to business.

Sagira took a few spoonfuls of ice cream before asking. "What was Mama trying to tell me? You were playing a game?"

"No. Your mother was on the right track when she said it was something fun for people our age to do… Well…you don't have to be our age. The first time I did it was when I was 12."

"Fool around?"

"Exactly. But we call it having sex."

"Sex?"

"Yes."

"What's sex?

Seto folded his arms as he explained. "It's what your mother was trying to tell you. Now, she would tell you that sex is when a man and a woman who love each other very, very much decide to express their love to each other physically, which leads to making a baby."

"Oh! So that's what sex is? It's something you do show love and make babies?"

"No! That's not what it is at all. That's probably what your mother would want me to tell you, but that's a load of crap."

"Awe! Daddy said crap!" she giggled.

"Stay with me here Sagira." He ordered. She immediately stopped giggling and he continued. "What sex really is, is a physical need you develop when you're old enough to have children. It's instinct to secure the growth of the population."

"I learned about that in… in… the place where they do the tests. It was on the discovery channel. I have an I.Q of 200! We learned about shapes and isosceles triangles and…"

"Sagira! Focus!" He snapped.

"Huh? Oh, yeah!"

"Like I was saying, that's the purpose of sex but it's not why real people do it. The truth is that people have sex because they like the way it feels. They want to do it. Sex becomes the need instead of having babies. When that need is really strong that they have to do it, that's called being horny."

"Bakura!" Sagira chimed once again, connecting the familiar word to a face.

"Yes. Bakura is always horny and he's rubbing off on your uncle.

"Uncle Mari is horny too?"

"Yes constantly, he's probably having sex right now. Lucky Bastard."

"Are you horny, daddy?"

"That, you don't need to know." He said pulling the ice cream away from her.

"No, I'm sorry. I won't ask again." She whined reaching out for her beloved dessert. Seto pushed the ice cream back in front of her and allowed her to continue eating.

"So do you understand now?"

"I think so." She said in between bites. "You and Mama were having sex. Sex is something older people do 'cause they like they way it feels and 'cause they have to and sex is what happens to make Mommies pregnant and have babies. And Uncle Mari and Bakura are horny."

"That's it in a nutshell."

"Wait daddy. If Uncle Mari and Bakura is horny than why don't they have sex together?"

"Your uncle and his friend claim to be strait. That means they only have sex with women but I wouldn't be surprised if they did. They're wierd like that and they're always around each other. Whatever they do it their own business as long as they don't try to pull that shit around me."

"Awe Baba said 'shit'!" Sagira wailed in excitement.

"Any other questions?"

"Nope. Sex sounds cool. I wanna see!" As she said this, Sagira realized that she had eaten all of her ice cream.

"Well you're going to have to wait a long time for that to happen." He looked down at her ice cream bowl and the sullen expression on her face. "And it's going to take an even longer time to sucker me into giving you ice cream at 2:00 in the morning again."


End file.
